Monday, December 21, 2009, 08:56 PM - Share Your Stories
From the moment I stepped through the Temple Gate entryway, I could feel the peacefulness, an overwhelming sense of belonging. After 24 hours of traveling we finally made it to the Temple in ZhongJiang - White Tower Temple. Familiar sites for me, as this was my third time coming here, but all new for Dustin. (My travel companion and fellow Dharma Brother). Wen, just came back in July, so she felt very much back at "home". We were greeted with smiles and stares, and a happy go-lucky good looking monk quickly took my big suitcase above his head and trotted up the stairs. The temple was still peaceful, as many of the course participants, still hadn't arrived yet. We quickly registered, got familiar with our residence and then settled in for some tea. Can't go to China, without getting good cup of green tea!
That evening, when many of the participants came, we were ushered into Master Haikong's chambers, where he was waiting to greet us. People were crying, and I too felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and a tear welled up, when seeing him again. We presented our offerings and he gave me a huge smile, as if to recognize me - and this caught me by surprise, as I know he has millions of disciples, yet also I know he is close by me, especially when I practice. Again, my tears turned to sobs - his smile so warming.
I had 3 other roommates in my residence, one lady who was 70 years old, who seemed to take a liking to me, and spent most of the week, holding onto my arm, chatting to me in Chinese. (I don't speak fluently, so had no idea what she was saying to me, but just smiled back at her, she would then laugh, and in Chinese say "oh you don't understand"... then she would forget, and chatter away at me again). The other roommate who was my room manager, a teacher from Shanghai tried her best to converse with me, but got frustrated when I did things I supposedly wasn't supposed to do - such as getting up early in the morning and going off to have a shower - she thought I was leaving - I guess she was to keep all of us together. Within a couple days, I was straightened out and I behaved!!!
During the stay, we were fortunate to have purchased some Simultaneous Interpretation Devices, from which Wen was able to translate for us. So during the class teachings she was able to translate every word Shifu (Master Haikong) was saying in his teachings. But when I was in my room, I was fending for myself - and spoke broken Chinese to my roommates. They couldn't understand why when they spoke to me, I had this blank look on my face. But when Shifu was teaching, I was writing copious notes. They didn't realize I had an earpiece in my ear, having the lecture translated for me.
Each morning we awoke for 4:10 with morning homework to start at 4:30 am. Each morning the monks would chant (sing) liturgy, we would follow the "pin yin" and as the course progressed we were getting pretty good at it. There was quite a lot of discipline to follow, with respect to the morning homework, and that included our meal times as well. We had to be lined up in a certain order, and we sang a chant to our breakfast, food offering and then had to eat quickly and all the food we had in our bowls was not to be wasted. Well that was another lesson I learned quickly - don't take so much, and eat as fast as you can.
Our courses covered a lot of the theory behind the TWDD meditation, its' history, Buddhism in general, Vajryana practice in specific. Each day was filled with a full schedule and in the evenings we either did our 2-hour standing meditation or had evening lectures. It was about 11-15 degrees out, which for this time of year isn't too bad, however, it was the same temperature indoors as it was outdoors. So I found each night my nose was frozen.
My three main takeaways that I got from this course were the following:
- I realized that "discipline" is actually freeing, not a restriction as many of us believe
- Deepened and solidified my motivation and commitment - moving my direction from only applying my practice for "physical well-being" to setting a proper direction, method and discipline to arrive at full awakening and to fully rely on my spiritual guide to do so.
- Discovering the effectiveness of truly letting go through the repentence/prostation 3-hour exercise and how freeing that was.
When we think of discipline, many of us cringe at the idea of having to follow order and find it very restricting. But my time in the Temple this time, under such discipline, helped me realize how freeing it actually could be. I think most times, our distress and frustration arises from too many decisions, or choices that we face each day. From the tiniest decision of what to eat, to what we wear, to where we go etc. can arise suffering in us, we tend to overlook this, as we think this is normal. But I bet if you looked into it closely, you too would see how suffering is produced from either having to make too many decisions, or regretting the decision you have just made, or failing to make a decision. When we were in the Temple, we were told how to do something, what time to be there, or just given the food we were to eat, - no choices, just follow. To me that was freeing. Now perhaps I wouldn't want every decision made for me, but I think, I be quite happy with my 40 channels of t.v, rather than opting for the 150 channels - too many choices!
When I initially started meditating, my main purpose and motivation was for my physical well-being and turning my quality of life around from always in pain to pain free. Now after 4 years of daily practice, and with a calmer mind and better understanding I have come to a realization, that practicing this meditation has a much deeper motivation. I realize this meditation will help me uncover why I came to this world, where am I going, what is my purpose? I am uncovering a better understanding about the importance of generating compassion for others, the importance of building merit (provisions), how my actions and thoughts affect others. I know there is so much more, and as I continue to practice, I find myself slowly peeling off the layers.
During the course, we had a three-hour session of prostrations (bowing) and repentence in front of the Guan Yin Buddha and all the other disciples. At first I thought this was silly, (due to my own ignorance) but as I continued doing it, it wasn't long, I felt an overwhelming need to cry, cry out loud. I wasn't the only one, as the hall seemed to be filling up with emotion. Afterwards we had the opportunity to go before everyone and the Buddha, and speak out loud our repentence. I felt this overwhelming urge to go up there and do it. At first I was embarassed, but then, I felt, what the heck, this is the place to do it. Afterwards, I had this amazing feeling of "lightness". It got me thinking. This is what I call a true "cleansing". Back in Canada, I listen to associates and friends talk about going to spas for cleansings, but believe me, what I had just experienced and participated in, that I believe was a true cleansing. I didn't realize until then, just how much we keep inside. All our past experiences, desires, failures, needs, wants, regrets - all uncovered, a chance to redeem yourself. I guess it is like the Catholics going into those secret booths to talk to the priest. But this was out in the open, for all to hear. I listened to some of the heart wrenching stories, your heart just ached for them, but I know, those who did participate, were instantly healed from the demons we hold onto. I know, I was one of them. I believe this strengthened my practice and understanding of cause and affect.
So you can imagine, this training session, was a turn in my practice. My resolve has strengthened, my understanding expanded a little, and I eagerly want to find my way out of this cyclic existence of suffering (samsara). I know it is up to me. What is more, I hope I can benefit others by sharing this experience in this article as well, offer to teach the meditation and continue to encourage those who practice. I know that since stepping onto this path, there is no other way to go through this life. I vow to continue improving my meditation practice and spread this gift, the one that was so kindly shared with me, in 2005.
P.S. I also vow to practice my chinese writing and speaking, so that I am able to read all the great books Shifu shared with us.
[ add comment ] ( 249 views ) | permalink
